The Octopus has nine brains and three hearts; he is an intelligent creature with a personality of its own. He can be playful, sneaky, manipulating, or dangerous. Unlike other fish, when captured and placed in a tank, the Octopus will find a way to escape the tank flexibly; he can maneuver through small spaces and from one tank to another. Also, he can unscrew a jar from the outside and the inside. He plays games with humans by squirting water at them if he doesn’t like them. He camouflages himself and shoots out toxic ink that confuses predators; it also flees from its confusing ink. He is sneaky when no one is looking and is intently watchful. The only hard shell on their body is their beak. When he is ready for a meal, he will use his powerful suctions to pull his prey close to his mouth. Octopuses are carnivores and tear apart their prey with their hard beak. Although they like meat, it is a rare event that they would eat you; their preferences are small sharks, crab, lobster, and other shellfish. They are not necessarily aggressive, but they will protect themselves if they have to.
In certain customs, the Octopus represents beliefs by various cultures. For example, some cultures believe the Octopus symbolizes growth, transition, and prosperity, while others believe he represents evil spirits. However, I think nature speaks volumes of wisdom if we listen to their knowledge. The Bible says to test the spirits. The fruit of God’s Spirit is goodness, righteousness, and truth. The devil’s core is manipulation, lies, deceitfulness, arrogance, division, haters of the truth, entitlement, selfishness, and the like.
Test the Spirits
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world. You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.”
Like the Octopus, the abuser is watching his victim and waiting to make their move; the victim doesn’t see it coming. One moment everything seems to be going well, and in a blink of an eye, the abuser is shooting fiery darts at his target, sucking their life out. The abuser camouflages himself behind religious rules and regulations to confuse and control for his gain.
Another similarity is an Octopus shoots out ink to confuse potential predators. The Octopus shoots and flees from his ink. Likewise, a toxic person projects himself on his victim; he cannot face the horror within his heart; take responsibility, repent, and change. He accuses her of doing the very things he does. He gaslights her and puts her in a state of confusion by twisting her reality. The serpent was crafty in the garden when he confused Eve about eating from the tree of knowledge. “God said we can eat from any tree except the one in the middle or we will die.” The serpent replied, “you won’t die!” Spiritual abuse leads many astray from the God who loves us and lays down His life for us. When He rose on the third day, we, too, have risen from the dead. We who live can still be dead in sin. However, the Good News is when Christ returns, even if we are in our grave, the grave no longer has power over us; our bodies will meet Him in the clouds.
The Octopus has eight arms, a tiny brain on each component, and one big brain in his head. Like the Octopus, a narcissist is manipulating, always thinks of ways to cause chaos, and is one step ahead of the victim. I imagine them with eight arms multitasking and placing traps for their victims using tools such as sabotaging; at any event where you succeed, your success is a threat to them. The heat rises when they see you rise above them in education, happiness, growth, etc. You are to remain inferior to them. He isolates you through slandering. They cause division amongst you and your children, family members, friends, and your place of employment to keep you isolated. Remember, if you manage to get away, they will find you because they thrive on controlling you no matter where you are. You would have nine brains to think of ways to accomplish many tasks simultaneously constantly, and the Bible is clear about what a wicked man/woman would do for selfish gain. Some may say they love their children; however, they use their children as a weapon to control by saying things such as, “If you leave, you are destroying our family.” And if you finally leave, they will slander you to your children and destroy your relationship with them if they are not wise to the tactics of the abuser.
“Psalms 36:4: He devises wickedness on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he does not arbor evil.”
Nine Traits of a Narcissist
- Entitlement: If he claims to be a Christian, he uses the Bible to control his wife and children for his gain. For example, he uses the Umbrella effect to oversee his family and justifies his actions, even if he is overbearing. Without reading the full context of the Bible, he memorizes verses that are suitable for his actions. Such as wives submit to their husbands. There are plenty of verses to pick from; however, God weighs our hearts. A forgiven person who truly repents does not commit the same acts repeatedly. He will not work; he expects his wife to work, prepare meals according to his cravings, and says God blessed him by satisfying his desires. He does not care about the desires of others, nor does he manage to help if it doesn’t bring back a return suitable to him. Yes, you can claim he does things around the house and cooks. However, the motive for doing such things is the same.
“The desire of the lazy man kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. He covets all day greedily long. But the righteous gives and does not spare.” Proverbs 21:26, NKJV.
- Arrogance: They have to have the best of everything, a lovely home in an upper-class neighborhood, even if at the expense of their family’s well-being. They are boastful and cut people down so they can feel superior and have to look good on the outside, yet they are rotten on the inside. Like someone who gossips about another, their words speak lies and destroy lives.
“They utter speech and speak insolent things; all workers of iniquity boast in themselves. They break in pieces Your people, O Lord, and afflict Your heritage. They slay the widow and the stranger and murder the fatherless. Yet they say, “The Lord does not see, nor does the God of Jacob understand.” Proverbs 94:4-7
” A proud and haughty man-Scoffer is his name; he acts with arrogant pride.” Proverbs: 21:24, NKJV.
- Exploitation: They will take advantage of anyone for personal gain. They use tactics such as sucking you in with their powerful hoovering techniques. They will use your resources and discard you, throwing you out like trash.
- Apathetic: They have no empathy; they cannot connect. In times of crisis, they’re indifferent, which is evident in their actions. For example, You can be dying in the hospital, and they will not show up unless other people are there. However, if they have isolated you to the extent that they turned your people against you, you will spend many times alone and without support. Jesus says out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Your heart spills over. If they show kindness, there is an ulterior motive. They are great actors, don’t be fooled by the crocodile tears.
- Self-Righteous: They do no wrong. The Bible is an excellent tool because they believe they can use the Bible to convict and control others. They are holier than thou. He does no wrong because he feels superior and sits on his throne, judging others all the while; he doesn’t see his sins. Jesus calls people like these hypocrites.
- Envious: Envy is like an evil spirit. I was horrified when I saw my ex-husband looking at me with such hatred after I was approved for a car loan on my terms because I had worked on paying down my credit debt and was managing my finances well. I was beginning to see the fruit of my diligence in my finances, education, and other areas I was working on changing. He said God favored me, but his eyes were pure hate. The eyes are a lamp to the soul, and I will never forget what I saw.
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is evil, your whole body will be full of darkness. Therefore, if the light in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
- Micromanage: Anything you do has to have the seal of approval from someone who is watchful of everything you do, even if they don’t know what or why you are doing what you are doing! I mean, everything has to be done their way, and micromanaging can drive a person insane. If you turn right, they will tell you to turn left. Like a dog chasing his tail is how the victim feels with someone who is consistently watchful of your every move and criticizes you for minor things. They find fault in everything you do, remembering the things you did wrong in the past, and will never remember all the good things you did. Micromanaging parents destroy their children’s self-esteem, paralyzes them from exploring their talents, and cripple their decision-making skills.
- Passive Aggressive: Is abusive and manipulative. An abuser will use passive aggressiveness to gain control or make you feel guilty about setting boundaries. When you give in, see how quickly the attitude changes. When you confront them, they will deny their behavior and gaslight you into believing you are making things up.
- Jealousy: They will not share you with anyone, not your children, friends, or family members. Not even your pet; anyone who takes your time away from him. He will find a way to destroy that relationship. Even if you leave, get divorced, and tried to start a new life, they will constantly think of ways to destroy you for leaving them. Being married to a narcissist is a love-hate relationship. Although they claim to love you, what they love is the supply you give, and they hate you because of their need for you; their survival depends on you. To the narcissist, your loyalty to them feeds their ego, and he will stop at nothing to get his fix. He is glutenous and will not share you with anyone.
Twisting from the Outside
They will twist things from the inside out. I remember often hearing my ex-husband talk about our home, the garden, and the meals I made; he would take the credit for something I did. I couldn’t believe what I heard, and when I asked, he twisted his words by saying, you knew what I meant. Eventually, he gave me credit for my actions when I was around. However, I’d catch him taking credit if I was not in the room. He will buy you gifts and set them out publicly to deceive others that he is being thoughtful, yet it is a tactic to cause anxiety for you, your children, and others who know your situation.
Yet inside the home, they treat their families contemptuously and are abusive. It is like they are angry; they had to put up an act to keep people from knowing the truth, and it was your fault. Their end goal is self-satisfaction and preservation at the cost of your mental health. They will also try to convince you that they are concerned about the children’s future; you should buy an insurance policy and make them the beneficiary because they are the responsible party. However, that is not the case. Even in death, they are more concerned about their image as good husbands and survival.
The narcissist’s mind twists things from the outside to keep you locked up on the inside. For example, he will publicly honor you to make outsiders believe he is kind, loving, and appreciative of you. Ordinary people with good intentions see gifts from others as loving-kindness and appreciation. It’s like the guy shouting a declaration of love for this special girl to the outside world. However, that’s not always the case for a narcissist. They deceive the outside world that they are good; no one would believe otherwise.
For me, my ex-husband sent gifts wherever I was. I believed he did this to let me know he knew where I was. He never contacted me via email or privately. However, he stalked me through social media, my job, and family members. Also, by doing so, he wore out the people I stayed with by causing fear and anxiety in them. They also began looking over their shoulder, fearing he would show up; they did not feel safe in their homes. After a while, it became overwhelming, and I would either choose to leave or ask to leave; this was a state of homelessness. Homelessness is not necessarily being without a roof over your head; it is when your host can ask you to leave at any moment. I have been unofficially homeless since May 8, 2021.
Twisting from the Inside Out
The Octopus can escape from captivity inside a jar or any small space with his flexibility. So, likewise, we can learn from the Octopus mind. As the Octopus studies his surroundings, being watchful and choosing the right time to act, we, too, can learn new skills. For instance, instead of lamenting circumstances and remaining trapped, we can begin the growth process through healing by renewing our state of mind, transforming, and living the life we desire: prosperity. These things don’t come to you, you have to work diligently to attain a better life. I decided to fight back through education, counseling, self-love, self-care, seeking help from outside resources such as my church, friends, and family members, and using the strong arm of the law for protection. My ex-husband crossed the line in his latest attempt to cause more pain in suffering for my loved ones and me. So I Finally went straight to the courthouse. While in the parking lot, I prayed for the Lord to have mercy on me and give me the strength and courage to do what I needed to do and petitioned an order of protection. The Lord answered my prayers and gave me a wise judge. The judge read my petition, stated that this was indeed domestic violence, and granted my petition. Of course, I cried with relief because, for once in a very long time, I felt justice prevailed. But, I also realized that to receive justice, we must ask for help on the outside; by exposing our predator’s abusive behaviors, and using the resources God established through the government and other entities.