As Mothers Day is quickly approaching, can I give you a few tips on what not to say or do in the presence of a grieving mother?
Stay with me for a minute, don’t avoid me because my pain is unbearable. I need you to be near; I need your shoulder to cry on. I need you to listen to me, listen without judgment or condemnation. Don’t try to make me feel better; you can’t. I am not trying to feel better, just relieved until the next wave comes.
Time: Give me time to process my loss. I promise this will pass like the waves. Please give me a moment of silence while it washes over me.
Ownership: Let me take ownership of my grief; this is mine. I understand that I am not the only mother who lost a child, and I promise to let you own your grief when you need me. Don’t tell me how my child called you every day or how he was like a son or daughter to you; this was my child. Instead, let me own my memories. I know what a blessing they were to you and others, and I am grateful for how their generosity impacted you. However, right now, I need to own our moments together.
Pray: Silently pray for me while I grieve. Let your words be few, and your comments might be more harmful than good. Pray for the God of comfort to comfort me, as He only knows how.