Empty Chair

Somebody will be facing an empty chair this year for the first time or longer as tears roll down their cheeks for the loved one they lost. For the memories of No more to be created. For the regret of the time they lost and spent arguing over things that didn’t matter. They will need…

Acknowledging My Son Today

When I first became a believer, John 3:16 had little impact on me—yes, learning that my sins are forgiven, which were beyond calculation according to my knowledge and understanding because I was still trying to please God through works. However, I did not fully realize the true impact of God’s love for humanity by sending…

TIDES, WAVES, AND ANGUISH

TIDES, WAVES, AND ANGUISH When I think the tides have subsided, another wave becomes more potent than before. And it’s time to hold my breath again. One year is drawing near; it would have been my son’s forty-fourth year; I can see the giant waves on the horizon, the waves coming at a distance, and…

Listen to Time

Listening to the Sound of Time A strange thing happened last year at school, most of the digital clocks stopped working. Then, after the tech repaired one, another stopped working until the school eventually replaced all the digital clocks with the good old-fashioned wall clocks. Do you remember the older watches with a big hand…

Digging Through the Ruins

Talking to God My Road to Recovery has not been what I imagined while living ignorant of God’s nature and control of all things internally and externally. I learned that inner work is exhausting; sometimes, I feel it would have been better to stay ignorantly blissful: however, I would still have my family stuck in…

Waves of Grief

Grief comes like waves; some subtly cover your heart like waves gently coming to and fro, washing over the filth of past shame, guilt, and regret. Grief says, “Come sit with me for a while; I wish you no harm. Healing is my desire. With me, there is no shame; I know the depth of…

Where is Home?

Where is Home Self-Awareness As I reflected on the past few years, I saw myself standing upon the mountaintop with hands lifted victoriously. I thought of Christian from Paul Bunyon’s book, Pilgrim Progress. Like him, I felt like I was carrying a heavy burden, and although I laid them at the foot of the Cross…

Journaling on My Day’s Journey

8 June 2022 Today a lovely woman of God invited me to live in her home. A stranger, yet not strange. I felt a connection when I met her yesterday when my long-time friend introduced her to me. So now, here I am in a home I have never known, owned by a woman of…

My First Year

My First Year Today should be a celebration not only a celebration of motherhood but also a celebration of freedom for me. One year ago today, I made the decision that changed my life. When faced with the reality of choosing between life and death, I chose life, I chose me, and I walked away…