True Love Speaks to His Soul
A Poem for My Husband, the Man of My Heart whom God will Bring
She looks into his eyes as though she is searching the ocean’s shorelines for a glimmer of light, the lighthouse of his soul. She desperately searches for her lover as though lost at sea. She places her hand on his chest; his heart beats intensely as waves crash against the rocks of his hardened heart. She tenderly whispers, peace, be still; I am here, my friend, my lover; I am here; soften your heart to my love.
I stretch my hands; take hold of the hands of the one who truly loves you and desires to see many days of enlightenment with you.
My heart is open to you; come and drink from the well of my youth and satisfy the thirst within you, my love. She gives him the calm waters of refreshing springs for his soul. He is at ease within her company, lays down the day’s burdens, and is at peace within the walls of their steadfast love. As the river flows steadily, so is our patience to wait for one another, stay true to our passion, and sail with me across the seas of God’s Grace.
Though he is mighty and strong, she sees his heart long for true love and welcomes her into the chambers of his soul where his treasures lie deep within. First, she searches his heart with tender curiosity. Then, with trust, he opens the door to his heart and lets her in to nourish his soul; he delights in her loving affection toward him.
Unlike a greedy man who devours, he patiently woes her to himself. The treasures of his heart are not just silver and gold though he is a provider. The true treasures lie in the depths of the sea in his heart for the love of life to unearth. He carefully shares his heart’s delights, slowly introducing his true identity to the one he trusts.
If he could wrap the moon with ribbon, he would give it to her. As the geese fly abroad, he thinks of the one he loves; how he longs to fly away as the flock migrates to green pastures with his love. He passes a field of sunflowers and thinks about how she stands tall amid adversity; to him, she is a Sunflower, and he is like the sun giving her sustenance to grow.
She is a breath of fresh air when he feels overwhelmed. He smiles and chuckles when they are apart; he knows she is also thinking of him. He speaks to her through songs, poems, and dreams. He shares his deepest thoughts and desires; he lets her enter his heart to drink from his wells of delight. He shares with her the things that bring him joy, grief, and sadness and feels safe shedding tears in front of her. Within her, he feels safe and unspoken words speak volumes to his thirsty soul.
As God shares His Heart with His Beloved, so does a man confide in his bride.
I love how Psalms 25 talks about God’s delight in his people and shares His Heart with them when they delight in Him. I see how God delighted so much in Enoch; He took Enoch to heaven with him, Genesis 5:21-24.
It amazes me that at such an old age, I thought I had missed out on the true meaning of love and grieved the love of my youth. Yet, as a divorced woman, I am grateful the Lord continues teaching me about His love for us and what love between a man and a woman looks like from His point of view because I do want to remarry. I have a lot of love to give. I have prayed about singleness and asked the Lord to remove my love language, which is affection in the tone of his voice, and physical affection. I can be stoic in some areas, but affection melts me like wax.
It was only after facing my reality and not denying such cruelty that the door to God’s heart opened for me to know the true meaning of love. He could not invite me into His chamber as a husband invites his wife into his trust as long I believed the lies about Him. It took God Almighty to send, metaphorically speaking, a string of tornadoes to remove every obstacle blinding me of His true self, a loving God yet, as fierce as a Lion. God’s wisdom is far greater than any human can comprehend, yet in His goodness, He gives us glimpses of His nature even through our childhood crushes and our first love.
True love is not only sexual; it is far more profound than a sexual experience. When I was a child, grown-ups referred to love as the “Birds and the Bees.” I didn’t get it back then, and I still don’t get it! I also find it funny when I talk to the younger generation about desiring a loving relationship, even my age; their default is always sexual and gag as disgusting.
However, I am beginning to understand that true love is soul searching your lover’s heart and what the Bible means about David being a man after God’s heart. David was not precisely saintly, yet, his writings in the Psalms were poetic, and as one who was a deep thinker, I am as well. David searched for the hidden treasures in the heart of God while in the fields tending sheep, and God delighted in him. So I believe this is God’s intention of love between a man and a woman.
I was amazed God brought some people back into my life to help my inner child grow where she was malnourished in love and self-discovery. I believe our first love is the Person God uses to draw and compliment each other’s gifts and talents. I was surprised one day while talking to a particular person, and he asked me about my favorite color, food, flower, etc. No one ever asked me what I liked, and I was a little shaken because I had to think about it for a moment. It also made me aware that I needed to know more about myself. He was interested in the things I delighted in, and I was clueless about myself and the desires of my heart. On the other hand, because I was robotic for most of my life, I have to remind myself to search, ask questions, and seek to know the heart of the man I desire.
I think the process of childhood crushes and experiencing first love in ways that matter most is vital to learning about ourselves because they mirror who we are; they reflect the Person in us. The shadows I suppressed of my past came back into my life as friends to teach and help me grow up in the areas crippled by my thoughts of rejection and shame. I began a journey of self-discovery and was delighted to learn about my strengths and weaknesses. I also realized that roses were not my favorite flower; they had thorns, and to me, they symbolized my isolation. I remembered the day the Lord planted a Sunflower in my garden. The Sunflower had a heart shape in the middle and stood tall amongst the weeds of adversity that tried to choke me to death.
I’ve taken myself out for a date night; however, I am not as brave as one may think. I set my phone in front of me, act like I am watching a video, or pretend I am talking to someone on the phone. Once, I laughed out loud, telling God about His sense of humor because the hostess sat me in the bar because the tables were for more than one customer!
Finally, I believe love is an expression of our inner heart and its desires. How can we know what we want if we don’t know ourselves? I don’t want to be a case of mistaken identity in the hands of the wrong person again, do you?