After the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua, son of Nun, Moses’ aide: “Moses, My servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites. I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west. No one can stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so that I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:1-9 NIV
In my previous blog, I talked about praying to the Lord for a place to call home. At the moment, I didn’t realize what I needed to sustain myself. Such as the small things we take for granted, like dishes, pots and pans, utensils, and a can opener! My daughters and friends have been so generous in helping me on my journey, and I didn’t want to be a burden to them. However, since I was very young, I was so used to working hard and providing for my family and myself; I rarely asked for help, mainly because I feared rejection or people finding fault in me. I was also independent; learning to depend on God for my daily bread was challenging. Some called it pride, maybe so, but accepting help from the wrong people gave them control over me; I lived that way for too long and could not open my heart as a receiver of God’s gifts unless I was sure they were, in fact, from God.
I was overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, paralyzed; by fear. However, the Lord sent help in unexpected ways. My daughters supplied food, a friend gave me a can opener, and the Lord sent me to a church half a block away for Bible study; I was so happy I went. The study was on the book of Isaiah, Striving Less And Trusting God More Melissa Spoelstra, 2022. I didn’t share my needs; I just wanted to find a home church where I could fellowship again; this journey has been lonely.
The following morning the group leader texted me. She asked me if I needed anything. Reluctantly, I said a couple of pots, pans, and cooking utensils would be helpful. Then, when I went to church on Sunday, I walked over to her; she stood next to two large bins filled with more than I had imagined. I asked for minimum supplies, but the Lord knew exactly what I needed. I was afraid to ask for help for a lack of trust in people after the abuse and fear of attaching myself to toxic people. I could not open my heart; it was sealed not only from the bad but also from what is good. The Lord used this new church’s love and grace as a can opener to open my heart and receive His provisions through the Body of Christ.
Yahweh, thank You for Your provisions and for caring for me in my time of need. Help me as I walk through today to keep my heart open to You and others in their time of need. You are always faithful to Your promises and trusting. May Your Holy Spirit guide us in our thoughts and ways, in Jesus’ name, amen.