Wants and Needs
Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll— are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this, I will know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalms 56:8-11 NIV
When I woke up this morning, my heart was heavy, I felt like I had lost all hope, but I remembered that the Holy Spirit prays when we can not. I also remembered He prays according to God’s will; my will are the things I Want. I’ve learned the hard way that “Wants” are not always good for us. God is a Good Father who provides for His children and our “Needs.”
Today, my need was to be held and comforted by my Father. I didn’t need a sermon or a rebuke for my lack of faith or failure; I fail Him daily. I just needed to sit in His arms as tears flowed from my eyes, knowing I was loved. In real-time, I’ve never had the privilege of a father’s love, nor in marriage had I experienced the love of a husband. Today, I experienced God as Abba/father and God as Ishi/husband. I needed to feel safe, heard, cared for, accepted, and loved. Like a child feels with a good father or a wife feels with a good husband. God gives us when we surrender our hearts and acknowledge His sovereignty instead of giving in to His children like spoiled brats what we demand from Him. I’m so grateful He didn’t give me everything I wanted but gave me everything I needed according to the richness of His Love and Grace.