When Fear Tried to Silence My Voice
There was a time when reading certain passages of Scripture felt almost impossible.
Whenever I saw the words “Wives…”, my heart tightened immediately. I didn’t have to read the rest of the sentence. My body already remembered the pain.
A heavy pressure would rise in my chest. My stomach would turn. Sometimes I felt so dizzy I thought I might pass out.
This was not an exaggeration.
It was trauma. As hard as it is to look at this image, this is what trauma looks like to those who have suffered from PTSD, CPTSD, ACEs, and other forms of Trauma, and Religious Abuse.
For years, those words had been used like weapons, not as invitations to Love, but as tools of control. They were spoken in ways that demanded silence, submission to cruelty, and the erasing of my voice.
My body had learned to associate those words with danger.
So when I opened the Bible, my mind wanted to keep reading, but my body could not.
Healing taught me something important: surrender is not the same as submitting to cruelty. The image of Nabal is also the spirit that lives in wicked people. The name Nabal means “fool”. Nabal was an evil and gluttonous man. And this same spirit lives in abusers; wicked men and women.
God never asked His children to surrender themselves to destruction. True surrender is placing our lives into the hands of the One who protects and redeems us.
It is trusting God—not tyrants.
During those moments when fear overwhelmed me and words failed, my prayers became very simple.
Sometimes they were only three words:
“Jesus, help me.”
And He did.
Not always in quiet whispers.
Sometimes He came like a storm.
Scripture often describes the Lord this way. When God moves on behalf of His people, the ground trembles beneath His feet. The enemies that once appeared powerful scatter like shadows when the light appears.
Darkness cannot remain where light enters.
When the Lord came to my rescue, His presence not only revealed the lies that had been planted in my life, but His light also expelled them.
The fear that once silenced me began losing its power. The voices that once controlled my understanding of God began fading. Slowly, the Word of God—once clouded by pain—became a source of strength again.
The many Psalms written in the Book of Psalms became a map for my journey. And Today, the Spirit led me to Psalm 31.
David wrote those words while surrounded by enemies and betrayal. Yet even in that distress, he declared his trust in the Lord.
“Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.”
—Psalm 31:24
Words like these became an anchor for me, and they still hold me close to my Redeemer.
God has placed hope directly into our hands through His Word. When we cry out to Him in Spirit and in truth, He hears us. He is faithful to His promises.
The Lord does not ignore the cries of those who trust Him.
He defends them.
He strengthens them.
He restores their place at His table.
And the enemies that once tried to silence them cannot stand in the presence of His light.
Sacred Pause
Have there been moments when certain words or memories made it difficult for you to approach God?
Bring those moments honestly before Him. The Lord is not afraid of our pain. In His presence, even the places of deepest hurt can become places of healing.
Prayer of Repentance and Refuge
Heavenly Father,
You are my refuge and my fortress. Forgive me for the times fear convinced me that You had abandoned me in my suffering. Cleanse my heart from the lies that distorted Your character and made me afraid of Your Word.
Lord, heal every place in me where trauma still lives. Restore my trust in Your goodness and help me see Your truth clearly.
When fear rises, remind me that You are my defender. When enemies surround me, remind me that Your light drives out darkness.
Teach me to rest in Your protection and to place my hope fully in You.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
A Quiet Prayer
Heavenly Father,
You are the God who hears the cries of the oppressed and the wounded. Forgive us for the times we believed we were alone in our suffering or that our voices did not matter.
Holy Spirit, guide these words so they bring courage to those who feel surrounded by fear or injustice. Let them see that You are a Defender who rises on behalf of those who call upon Your Name.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
When the Lord Came Like a Storm
There are moments in life when a simple prayer is all the strength we have left.
For me, there were times when fear tightened around my chest so strongly that I could barely speak. Words felt impossible. My mind raced, my heart pounded, and my body trembled under the weight of anxiety.
In those moments, my prayers became very small.
Sometimes they were only three words.
“Jesus, help me.”
That cry may sound simple, but Scripture shows us that God listens carefully when His children call out to Him in distress. David wrote many of his psalms while surrounded by enemies and betrayal, yet he trusted that the Lord would hear his voice.
Psalm 18 describes what happens when God responds to the cries of those who trust Him:
“The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
They trembled because He was angry.”
—Psalm 18:7
When I read those words, I understood something about the way God had intervened in my own life.
When I cried out for help, the Lord did not ignore me.
He came like a storm.
His presence began shaking the foundations of everything that had once held power over my life. The lies that once controlled my thoughts began losing their grip. The fear that once kept me silent began to weaken.
And the enemies who had thrived in darkness scattered like rats when we called on the name of Jesus, the True Light.
The Light of God does not merely reveal what is hidden. Even the enemy who pretends to be an angel of light is exposed and expelled in the Name of Jesus. God gives us discernment to see the darkness hidden in such people when we stay in the Word. The Word is our map.
It drives darkness away.
Just as storms cleanse the air and wash the earth, the presence of God began sweeping through the places of my life where oppression had once taken root. The cruelty that once tried to silence me could not remain in the presence of His truth.
The storm was not destructive.
It was deliverance.
The Lord was clearing the ground so that healing could begin.
This is one of the most powerful themes throughout the Book of Psalms. Again and again, David declared that God was his refuge, his fortress, and his defender. Even when surrounded by enemies, David trusted that the Lord would rise on behalf of those who placed their hope in Him.
Psalm 31 became a map for my own journey.
David wrote those words while facing betrayal and danger, yet he still declared:
“Into Your hands I commit my Spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.”
—Psalm 31:5
Those words reminded me that surrender to God does not mean surrendering to cruelty.
It means placing our lives into the hands of the One who defends us.
The storm of God’s presence does not destroy those who seek Him.
It protects them.
When the Lord rises to defend His children, the forces that once seemed powerful begin to collapse. The fear that once felt overwhelming begins to fade, and the heart that once trembled finds courage again.
The storm passes.
But the freedom it leaves behind remains.
And when the wind settles and the light shines clearly again, we realize that God was not only protecting us.
He was restoring us.
Sacred Pause
Have you ever cried out to God with nothing more than a desperate prayer for help?
Remember that God hears even the smallest cry. The Lord who commands storms also listens to the quiet voice of those who trust Him.
Prayer of Repentance and Refuge
Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for the times I believed fear had more power than Your presence. Cleanse my heart from the lies that told me I was alone in my struggle.
Thank You for hearing my cries when my words were few and my strength was gone. Thank You for rising on my behalf and driving out the darkness that once surrounded me.
Lord, continue to strengthen my faith and help me trust Your protection. Let Your light fill every corner of my life, and let Your truth guide my steps each day.
I place my hope in You, my refuge and my defender.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.