Helping Hands
Day’s Journey Reflection
Scripture Anchor:
“For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger, and you invited Me in.”
— Matthew 25:35
The first time I heard the phrase passive suicide, it was from H. Norman Wright, a counselor who wrote about crisis counseling.
That phrase helped me understand something I did not yet have words for.
I had lost hope. I had lost the desire to live.
I was not always saying it out loud, but something inside of me had stopped reaching for life.
After Ray died, so did my desire to live.
For me, life had been my family. Cooking. Serving. I believed I was full.
My happiness was teaching my children and grandchildren in the kitchen or in the garden.
Making something with my hands and watching someone receive it with joy.
Serving friends and family is my Love language.
But in the blink of an eye, my little world was swept away.
I remember thinking, “I don’t have a family anymore. My whole life was swept away in a moment.”
That is hard to say.
But it was true to the grief I was carrying.
We can argue, “Why then?”
I see more clearly now than I did then. I understand more, as the LORD said in Jeremiah 23:20.
And yet, God did not leave me there.
The LORD began to place people on my path to healing. Some came with prayer. Some came with kindness. Some came with fellowship. Some came by simply receiving what I had to give.
Sometimes God asks us to do something that may seem odd, like making meals for coworkers.
They did not know that their acceptance of my meals was part of my healing. They may have thought they were only receiving food, but God was using their welcome to help bring me back to life.
Reaching out was not on my agenda.
Isolation was easier.
Isolation did not ask me to risk being misunderstood.
Isolation did not ask me to offer my heart.
Isolation did not ask me to hope again.
But I needed community. A community brings restorative hope, Love, and life.
We do not always understand God’s ways until He reveals what He sees in our hearts. Sometimes He asks us to reach out when we would rather hide. Sometimes He tells us to serve when we feel empty. Sometimes He places someone on the receiving end of our gift, and we wonder if they think we have completely lost our mind.
Well, the advantage for me is that I admit my weirdness most of the time.
But those who graciously received my gifts received something more than a meal.
They received what God was healing in me.
Jesus said, “I was hungry, and you fed Me.”
That means service is not small in the Kingdom of God. A meal can become ministry. A kitchen can become holy ground. A simple offering can become part of someone’s restoration.
And sometimes, the one being restored is the one doing the serving.
The LORD reminded me that the little things Ray and I did together kept his memory alive in me.
Cooking together brought so much joy to both our hearts when he was growing up.
Money was tight, and we ate a lot of hamburger meat. Made in different ways. My granddaughter added the spice I needed to begin to understand even more clearly that sometimes we need different to help us heal.
We made meatloaf.
Spaghetti.
Goulash with potatoes.
Goulash with corn.
Goulash with chili powder.
Goulash with goulash.
And almost goulash with fingers.
One day, Ray was standing next to the counter while I was cutting meat for green chili. I did not realize how close my fingers were to the knife.
But he did.
He quickly reached over, grabbed the knife, and kept me from cutting off my fingers.
I was banned from the butcher block that day.
Even now, that memory makes me smile.
Grief did not erase the Love.
Death did not erase the laughter.
Loss did not erase the kitchen.
Pain did not erase the little things that made our life beautiful.
It was a little child who drew a picture for me at school. I asked what it meant. He said,
“Sadness can live with Happiness.”
Those memories became evidence that Love had lived there.
And because I know where my son is, I know I will embrace him again.
Until then, I praise God for the people He placed on my path to healing. Sometimes they see what I cannot, keeping me from harming myself.
I praise Him for the brothers and sisters who received me.
I praise Him for the coworkers who accepted the meals.
I praise Him for the community that helped restore hope.
I praise Him for the reminders that life was still worth living.
Sometimes God brings someone who has lost all hope and faith.
Sometimes that despair has a name.
Passive suicide.
So please do not give up.
There is a light at the end of this tunnel.
Tell someone.
Ask for help.
Let safe people walk with you.
Let community become extra hands.
Let prayer surround you.
Let Jesus meet you in the place where hope feels gone.
Today, I am grateful.
I am grateful that the LORD did not let my story end in despair. I am grateful He used meals, memories, fellowship, prayer, and Love to bring me back to life.
And I am grateful that what once seemed like an odd act of obedience was, in fact, God teaching me how to live again.
To God be the glory.
Sacred Pause
Ask gently before the LORD:
Where has isolation tried to keep me from healing?
Who has God placed on my path as part of my restoration?
What small act of service might serve as a reminder to someone that they are loved?
Then pray:
LORD, use my hands, my meals, my memories, and my testimony to bring hope and life.
For Anyone Who Feels Like Giving Up
If you feel like you have lost hope, lost the desire to live, or no longer care what happens to you, please do not stay alone.
Tell a safe person Today: a trusted family member, friend, pastor, counselor, doctor, teacher, coach, or crisis helper.
In the United States, you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Help is available 24/7 for suicidal crisis, emotional distress, mental health struggles, substance-use crisis, grief, trauma, or when you simply need someone safe to talk to.
Your life matters.
You are worth helping.
There is still hope.
Please do not give up.
Prayer of Repentance, Gratitude, and Restored Hope
Heavenly Father,
I come before You in the Name of Jesus Christ.
Thank You for not leaving me in despair. Thank You for seeing me when I lost hope and when my desire to live was swept away by grief.
Forgive me for the times I isolated myself, refused community, or believed the lie that my life no longer mattered. Forgive me for the times I could not see the people You placed on my path because pain had covered my eyes.
Lord Jesus, thank You for restoring hope. Thank You for the people who received my meals, my prayers, my service, and my imperfect attempts to reach out. Thank You for using community to bring restorative hope, Love, and life.
Thank You for Ray. Thank You for the memories of cooking, serving, laughing, and living. Thank You that Love remains, and thank You for the hope that I will embrace him again.
Holy Spirit, use my testimony to encourage anyone who feels hopeless. Use my hands to serve. Use my words to bring life. Use my memories to remind others that Love is never wasted.
Help me feed the hungry, comfort the grieving, notice the isolated, and speak hope to those who feel like giving up.
Let my life bring glory to You.
Soli Deo Gloria.
Amen.
Scripture References
- Matthew 25:35–40
- Psalm 34:18
- 2 Corinthians 1:3–4
- Romans 15:13
- Galatians 6:2
- Hebrews 10:24–25
- John 11:25–26
- Revelation 21:4
Works Cited / Acknowledgment
- Scripture references listed for devotional study and reflection.
- Crisis-support reference included for readers who may be struggling: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- Reflection shaped with assistance from OpenAI / ChatGPT.