Tonight, as I reflect on God’s Love and faithfulness, I ponder my day and how the LORD brings so much joy into my heart through every detail.
After a day of serving, what I find most rewarding is when a student with Autism, Down syndrome, or other developmental disabilities asks me to leave their classroom because they found their tribe; I know I did my job successfully by modeling patience, kindness, gentleness, and inclusion to every student. I see that by practicing these behaviors, we create an environment where all children/teens feel safe enough to be themselves, flaws and all. This is what Jesus modeled to us.
One day, I walked into a classroom to check on one of my kids. Three other students surrounded him and offered him the help he needed; none of them saw me walk in or out. I left the room smiling because at the beginning of the year I had been praying that the Lord would send him a friend. God sent more than one friend.
Lately, I’ve been emotional, and the small stuff I rarely sweat over seems to turn into a pool of tears. Under normal circumstances, I’m emotionally stable and aware of what causes instability, so I am proactive in these areas. Also, I think I am resilient, and like one of my autistic kids says after we complete an assignment in the classroom, “NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!”
However, for me and the countless parents who have lost a child, everything and anything can throw us off balance. September and October are challenging months for me because my son’s birthday was September 20, 1978, and he passed away on October 31, 2021.
I’ve learned to live with my grief, and I’ve learned to accept it when it comes over me unexpectedly like a wave. I feel safe enough at my workplace and amongst particular family or friends- my tribe- to cry. They surround me with Love and give me the space I need. I also leave feeling encouraged because they are my tribe and care about my well-being without judgment.
It’s good when humanity can accept its flaws and still model Jesus’ patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, and mercy. He cried with Martha and Mary when Lazarus died; Jesus wept too. You may wonder, by now, how in the world a grieving parent can find joy. Well, the joy of the LORD is not of the world, so it cannot be attained from the world; it can only be attained through the Holy Spirit, and it is not based on our circumstances; it is a gift from above. The joy of the LORD is my strength.
To my Son, I will continue spreading mental health awareness until we meet again on the clouds. Ramon Liles, 9/20/1978-10/31/2021