Exiled in the Wilderness
A Poetic Metaphor of the Exiled Soul
Shame was like a beast that kept me hidden in a dark, cold, lonely place. I saw my inner child in a dream, hidden in the shadows, alone and afraid. I was angry and thought about how I would fight for other children, but I did not fight for my inner child. I was angry at myself for leaving her behind. I cried to God to help me heal her wounded little soul, the little child within who was exiled.
She reminded me of how they laughed and smeared her name in mud. Like swine, they trampled her underfoot. Who is she that we should tremble in fear? Let’s keep her at arm’s length. Let’s use and abuse her and pretend to know the LORD. We will lie and say what she wants to hear, and keep her aloof, where we can’t hear the message of the Lord, and then we say in our hearts we did nothing wrong. We are the religious spirits that told her she was never enough, unlovable, unworthy, and unwanted. We labeled her an outcast and no one wanted to know her.
She wondered why they cast her out like a stray and spit her out like bitter water when they didn’t need her anymore. Like many times before, they lured her back with the breadcrumbs of manipulation. She believed the lies because her only desire was to be seen, heard, wanted, and loved. Still, like a narcissistic husband, they used her up, and when they were finished, they discarded her like trash.
Again and again, she believed the lies, hoping maybe this time they would love her. But again, they turned away after they needed her no more, until she gave up on Love. But one day, True Love came for her, and found her beneath the increments of Shame.
“Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. Though one goes along weeping, carrying the bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves. Psalm 126:5-6.
When Love Found Me
Scripture:
“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
‘I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.’”
— Jeremiah 31:3
Reflection:
I was not looking for Love. I was simply trying to survive.
The ache of loneliness had become my constant companion —
a familiar shadow that walked beside me even in the light.
Then, Love came looking for me.
Not the kind that demands or disappears,
but the kind that waits.
The kind that sees.
The kind that steps into brokenness and calls it beloved.
Love found me when I was weary,
when the tears blurred my prayers into whispers.
He sat beside me — silent, present, kind.
He didn’t rush my healing.
He waited until my trembling stopped,
and then He spoke my name.
When Love found me, He didn’t ask me to climb a mountain to reach Him.
He descended into my valley and sat in the dust with me.
And in that holy silence, I heard what my soul had longed to hear:
“You are Mine.”
Repentance:
LORD, forgive me for running from Your Love, for believing the lies that said I was unworthy of it.
Teach me to rest where You have already chosen to dwell —
In the heart You have redeemed.
Journal Prompt:
Where has Love found you before — in sorrow, silence, or surrender?
What does His kindness look like in your life right now?
Write as one who is seen, known, and deeply loved.
Sacred Pause:
Pause here and let Love speak.
Breathe in slowly, as if every inhale were His whisper: “I am here. You are Mine.”
Interpretation:
Love is not found in our pursuit of perfection — it finds us in our surrender.
It is not earned; it is received.
The same Love that met you in the ashes will walk with you into beauty.
He has never stopped pursuing your heart.
Anchor Scripture:
“We love because He first loved us.”
— 1 John 4:19
Sacred Pause – Rest in His Love
Breathe. The One who spoke galaxies into being is speaking peace over you now.
The same Love that found you once still surrounds you.
You don’t have to prove, perform, or pretend. You only have to receive. The tears, the silence, the hidden seasons — all of it led here to this moment of stillness.
To this whisper: “Beloved, I was with you then. I am with you now.”
A Prayer of Dedication and Benediction
O LORD, this work is Yours.
Every word, every tear, every pause — You have gathered them into Your hands.
Let each page be a resting place for weary souls, a reminder that You still see, still heal, still love.
Let all who read find themselves drawn nearer to the heart of Christ, and Your name alone be glorified forever. Soli Deo Gloria, In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Soli Deo Gloria