8 June 2022
Today a lovely woman of God invited me to live in her home. A stranger, yet not strange. I felt a connection when I met her yesterday when my long-time friend introduced her to me. So now, here I am in a home I have never known, owned by a woman of God of eighty-seven years.
Last week without warning, my daughter texted me saying I needed to move as soon as possible. She informed me of the resentful feelings she was feeling towards me. I did feel the anxiety and felt the need to begin looking for a place of my own. I understand how hard it is to take care of family. Over time, having an intrusion disturb the family unit can become overwhelming; God knows I had experienced this type of stress many times when my children were growing up. However, she and my son-in-law helped me in ways above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. I believe the Lord sent me there for a time for sharpening; a sword sharpens a sword. I don’t need to know how I helped them; that is totally for the glory of God.
At first, I was hurt and felt abandoned again, and begged God to take me home to be with Him and my son. He did not. I don’t know what His plans are for me, and sometimes I wonder if God has a specific plan for me because of all this suffering? I am not in despair; I wonder if life is just a Day’s Journey, so instead of lamenting my misfortunes, I am choosing to be thankful.
As for today, I am thankful to the Lord for this lovely woman whom God used as His loving arms to embrace me as I wept on her shoulder as she lifted her face toward heaven and prayed for me and opened up her home and invited me to come in. I am also thankful to my friends for letting me stay in their homes while looking for an apartment. They, too, welcomed me in in my time of desperate need, prayed for me, and gave without fault-finding or judgment. But, most of all, I am grateful to the Lord for His constant love and faithfulness toward me.
Prayer for Help in Despondency (Psalm 88, KNJV).
Dear Lord, God of my salvation through Your Son’s atonement, I have cried out to You day and night. Let my prayer come before You, turn Your ear and listen to my heart cry. I feel consumed by my troubles, and my life draws near the grave as I am aging; only You know the number of my days. The enemy counts me as one who goes down to the pit, like a warrior without strength, ready to be killed and remembered no more and cut off from Your hand. You have laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness; I felt Your conviction heavy on me. I heard Your still small voice speak in the depth of my heart, requiring me to humble myself and tell the truth; You said keep no secrets. So I confessed my sins, Lord, and You accepted me with open arms. You welcomed me through Your people, who hear, trust, and obey Your word—humbled by Your grace and willingness to accept me in Jesus’ Name, amen.