“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:2‭-‬3 NIV

There are some things I felt were unforgivable towards my parents when I was a child, and sometimes I am triggered by memories of the abuse caused by them. When the Holy Spirit brings this verse to my attention, the memories flood my mind, and I feel pain within my body again; because the body keeps score. I think, “How can I honor them when they dishonored me, Lord?” After working on my healing and learning about the suffering they, too, suffered from their parents, my heart was filled with compassion toward them. I also saw within my heart the pain I caused my children. I am grateful for the time the Lord gave me with my son before he died; with tears in my eyes, I asked forgiveness from him; God knows how much pain I caused him and his sisters from the learned patterns; this doesn’t excuse or justify the offenses; however, it’s a reminder to take action and work on changing myself. The first action step is the awareness of our humanness and deciding to forgive them and ourselves so God can heal the wounds of our ancestors and generations after us. The second would be to honor them if they are still alive by lovingly setting boundaries, or if they are deceased; you can choose to write them a letter of forgiveness for the pain caused. Sometimes it is impossible, and we have to go no contact for our safety or the safety of our children; this is a painful step, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can pray for a forgiving heart toward them so they lose the power of controlling us as God forgave the unthinkable in us. When the tides of pain resurface, instead of suppressing the pain, we can sit with the feeling for a minute, grieve it and let the cleansing waters of the Holy Spirit wash over us, as Jesus did when He washed the disciples’ feet and said, unless I wash you, you cannot be clean; allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse your wounds with the loving care of others, like recovery groups like balming ointment. Imagine Jesus doing this as the waters wash over your feet, and as they subside, imagine Jesus taking the pain of our past regrets and sorrows into the depths of the ocean of forgetfulness in every instance that comes to mind.

“O, the joy of our wonderful healer in Your Son, Heavenly Father. I honor You when I forgive because You forgave the unthinkable in me and washed me clean with the purifying blood of Jesus. I worship You, Lord, when I offer all the broken pieces of my heart and fragmented parts of my mind in Your loving care. Wash me, O Lord, and purify all the impurities within me, for it is in Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.

If you need help, you can check the Resource or Library pages of books that help me with my healing journey.