“Awake, O north wind, and come, O south! Blow upon my garden, that its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits.” Song of Solomon 4:16
Awake to Righteousness
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin, for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
“Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. 13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. 14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under the law but under grace.” Romans 6:12-14).
The holidays can be extremely painful for people who are away from their closest family members or the loss of a loved one; I experienced the pain in both on Thanksgiving day. This was my first year without my mother and my third without my son, and no matter how hard I try to move forward, a wave comes at me, so my heart is very tender during these times, and I am okay with that and give myself the Allowance to grieve without judgment. I’ve also learned that by owning my grief, it’s mine to own and was not going to bleed out on those around me. For example, my baby sister came for Thanksgiving and she was staying with me. The last time she came was to bury our mother, and she has her own troubles; she was in need of rest, and to be surrounded by family whom she had not seen for quite awhile.
Another example is when an autistic student, I will call Jason, wants to collaborate with another student to work on an assignment. When he asked, the other student, also autistic, I will name Sam, said no without any hesitation. Jason was so hurt that he couldn’t process it and got angry. My heart ached for him because of the indifference. Jason had been trying to be friends with Sam for quite some time, and the rejection was ongoing. I am not a counselor or a clinician, but I am a wounded healer, so I connected with Jason’s hurt because I too was rejected by someone dear to me. I tried to explain to him that it was not him, or his fault, and I understood, but we can Accept rejection and Allow others the freedom to choose. During our conversation, I too, was being ministered to by the Holy Spirit; as I had just been wounded a couple of days before as well, and my wound was still very raw. I also made Jason Aware that his anger made me feel uncomfortable; he is about six feet and three inches tall, but a gentle giant, and he does not like to make me feel scared, and he would protect me, as he often says. Notice I capitalized, Allowance, Acceptance, and Awareness? I do this for myself to stop or pause and take Notice these so that I can redirect, like road signs redirecting traffic. As a driver, I follow the road signs, and I can redirect my emotions; I no longer slam the brakes on them, nor do ignore the triggers.
On Thanksgiving, I could not redirect or suppress, but I Allowed myself to stay home and reassured my baby sister that I would be okay. I wanted her to have a good time. We both had different needs, and we lovingly gave each other the grace to receive those needs. By the grace of God, my Beloved, I did not sin in my anger, I did not gaslight myself, nor would I Allow anyone to dismiss the indifference toward me. It was as accurate and painful. Just the same as I did not shrug off Jason’s pain; he was hurt, and rightly so.
“Sow for yourselves righteousness; Reap in Mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD till He comes and rains righteousness on you.” Hosea 11:8
LORD Jesus, my Beloved, awaken my soul to righteousness; let me dance to Your unfailing love and faithfulness. I come before You with a wounded heart seeking Your tender mercies, for Your mercies are new every morning. I am breaking up with the deeds of the flesh and with Unrighteousness; let Righteousness soak the dry land within me and wash over my wounds. Heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. Lead me, O LORD, in the dance of everlasting life through Christ Jesus, who is the Righteous One, amen.