There are sixty queens and eighty concubines and virgins without number. My dove, my perfect one, is the only one. The only one of her mother. The favorite of the one who bore her. The daughters saw her and called her blessed. The queens and the concubines praised her. Who is she who looks forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, awesome as an army with banners? Song of Solomon 6:8-10
In Christopher Doyle’s book, The True Meaning of Sex, he describes the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit dancing in Perfect Harmony. With abandonment issues, one of the symptoms is a push-pull kind of dance/relationship; some may misunderstand it as a form of narcissism. However, the inner child/ part that was rejected still feels, and he longs for connection, but his wounded part won’t let him; the ego part. I remember the famous saying, a sarcastic jab, “Awe, his ego was wounded!” The wounded part was a child/is a child that was never acknowledged, or validated; it should be acknowledged. For me, a dear friend acknowledge my wounds, he did not shame me. He taught me how to listen to my wounded ego, validate the pain, ask for forgiveness, and thank him for protecting me; he taught me how to be compassionate to myself for not knowing better. If you fight with this part, you won’t win, and if you try to flatter this little child within her, she will know you are a liar, just like those adults who physically or emotionally abandoned her and never came back.
Don’t gaslight yourself; your heart knows the truth, and when you tell it the truth, the Tiny Dancer is free! Imagine dancing in the circle of God’s love in perfect harmony with the Trinity.
I couldn’t receive God’s love nor connect with such a beautiful concept of true love, so I pushed anyone who got too close away, including family members, friends, and my soulmate. My sister said that my hobby was self-sabotage. When I realized that I was subconsciously pushing God away, and He stayed, I grew in a more profound love with my Beloved, and it became easier for me to trust Him. Moreover, I am more discerning about the people I allow because I no longer feel like I’m dancing in a cognitive fog.
God promises that whatever was stolen will be redeemed; the grief of the loss of innocence and the childhood experiences that the devil stole and continues to do so even to this day can be redeemed through the Powerful Blood of Jesus Christ. Jesus cannot redeem us if we don’t believe Him. Unless we acknowledge the wounded child within ourselves and bring him to Jesus for healing, we will remain stuck in the dungeon, and our ego will continue ruling over us.
“Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha told Him, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11: 23-26)
Heavenly Father, LORD of all creation and Redeemer of the world, when You sent Your Only Begotten Son, You did not send Him to condemn the world, as the world condemns us, Your children, whom You have Redeemed. When You crafted us in our mother’s womb, You did so with Your Perfect love. LORD, Jesus, search my heart and find the abandoned children within me. Lift them in Your loving arms, embrace them, and heal their wounds. Your word says that You set captives free; free us LORD, from our captivity, and give us the gift of Perfect Love, because perfect love casts out all fears, and covers over a multitude of sins, praise and glory to God our Father, and the Father of our LORD, Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit, burn away the spiritual bars and the oppressors who keep us locked up and in darkness, with Your holy fire, let us be drawn to the Father of Lights, in Your Name, I pray, and I thank You for hearing and answering my prayer, amen.