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Freedom from the Bondage of Grief

“Freely you have received; freely give.” — Matthew 10:8 

I did not learn generosity from abundance. 
I learned it from grief. 

My family endured loss after loss—my son, 
my nephews, A.J, Gil, my mother, cousins, aunts, 
and others whose deaths left marks on my soul 
that only God could heal. 

Some died from natural causes; others died unjustly— 
leaving behind questions, anger, and heartache 
too heavy for words. 

Bitterness stood at my door 
and waited for permission to enter. 
But I knew this: 
bitterness becomes a legacy, 
and I refused to pass it to my children 
or my grandchildren. 

So, I cried out to the Lord. 
I asked Him to turn my pain into something else— 
something redemptive. 
Something that would break the cycle of sorrow. 

And He listened. 

A Love Offering Turned Legacy 

When my son died, my coworkers gathered money as a Love offering. 
It touched my heart deeply. 
Yet something in my Spirit whispered: 

“Do not keep this.” 

At first, it made no sense. 
But the Holy Spirit reminded me of who my son was— 
how he encouraged others to rise up, 
to make changes, to reach for something better. 

Then I knew what to do with the money: 

I returned the offering to the school 
and asked them to turn it into a scholarship 
for students who wanted to join sports or music 
but could not afford it. 

That decision broke something open in me—a soft place, 
a healing place, a place where God met my grief 
with purpose. 

It was the moment anger loosened its grip; I was able to grieve 
and compassion took its place. 

When Grief Becomes Compassion 

Before my son died, 
I had already lost my twelve-year-old nephew to brain cancer. 
Death came like a bill collector. 

It felt as if sorrow arrived without warning, 
over and over again. 

But the Lord— faithful, patient, gentle— 
showed me that grief does not have to consume. 
It can transform. 

I began giving. 
Not because I had an abundance, 
but because I refused to let pain dictate my future. 

I chose generosity 
as an act of defiance against darkness. 

I began giving monthly to: 

• Phoenix Children’s Hospital (in honor of my nephew Gil) 

• Tim Tebow’s ministry to fight against exploitation and sex trafficking 

• Wounded Warriors (in honor of the Love I lost) 

• Israel (for Love of God’s covenant people) 

The gifts were not large. But they were faithful. 
Consistent. Water for the seeds I haven’t seen growing yet. 

Then the letters came—stories of children helped, 
lives touched, families supported. 

And God whispered to my heart: 

“This is how I heal you— 
through the good you give away.” 

When Money Was Tight, I Gave My Time 

There were seasons when money was scarce,
and every dollar mattered. 

But God taught me that the most valuable gift 
is not money, it’s a willing heart. 

So, I began to give my time: 

I listen to those who need someone to hear them. 
I comfort those who were grieving. 
I serve where I am needed. 
I encourage children and adults alike. 
I pray in private for many who never knew it. 
I showed up for those who felt alone. 

These were the offerings that cost me the most— 
and healed me the deepest. 

Because giving your presence 
is giving Christ Himself. 

Why Giving Healed Me 

The Bible says, 
“The LORD loves a cheerful giver.” 

Now I understand why: Because giving breaks the chains of bitterness. 
Giving transforms anger into compassion. 
Giving teaches the heart to Love again. 
Giving opens space for healing to flow. 

Giving did not erase my grief— it redeemed it. 

And now this is my testimony: 

I give because Christ gave Himself for me. 
I serve because He served me in my darkest hours. 
I Love because He loved me first. 

Every gift— whether money, time, or compassion— 
is my way of saying: “Darkness did not win.” 

Sacred Pause — “Make My Life a Gift, Lord.” 

Close your eyes gently. 
Breathe slowly. 

Whisper: 

“Lord Jesus, take my life 
and turn it into blessing for others.” 

Let His peace settle over your heart. 
Let His presence soften the places still tender. 
He has shaped your sorrow into something beautiful. 

Prayer of Repentance 

Lord Jesus, forgive me for the times 
I held on to pain when You were inviting me to release it. 

Forgive me for moments when anger felt easier than compassion 
or when I doubted that my small offerings mattered. 

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right Spirit within me. 

Make my hands generous. Make my time meaningful. 
Make my presence healing. Let every gift I give— 
financial or otherwise— bring glory to Your name 
and healing to my heart. 

Thank You for turning my grief into giving, my sorrow into service, 
and my wounds into a well that waters others. 

Please help me forgive those who took my generosity for granted.

Let wisdom and discernment be my guides.

In Your holy and beautiful name, 
Amen.